For many women, the decision to get married and/or have children are some of the most important decisions they will make in their lives. Some women feel a great sense of fulfillment from becoming wives and mothers, while others may find that it doesn’t suit their lifestyle or personality, or some may opt for one and not the other. There’s no wrong or right answer when it comes to deciding to embark on the lifelong journey of either motherhood or marriage, but there are some factors to consider before making the decision.
It’s no surprise that motherhood is a huge responsibility that requires a lot of self-sacrifice. It is the biggest commitment you will ever make. If you’re not sure you’re ready to put your own needs aside for the sake of your children, then motherhood may not be the right choice for you—at least right now.
Marriage is also a commitment that should not be taken lightly, though it is different than becoming a mother. Compared to motherhood, the stakes are arguably less high if you choose to get married and later realize it’s not the right match. Nonetheless, if you’re not sure whether you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with one person (or even the specific person you’re with), then you should take more time to reflect on whether marriage is something you truly want.
Marriage and Motherhood
The mother of all commitments (pun intended) is when you combine marriage and motherhood. This combination actually results in three commitments, not just two; here’s why:
- You commit to the person you marry
- You commit to your child
- You commit to modelling a healthy marriage to your child
Commitment to yourself
There is a fourth commitment you may choose to (and arguably should) make—committing to maintaining your identity through these monumental life changes. This is one commitment we often forget to uphold. When we talk about self-care, we think about spa days and Netflix binges, but staying true to yourself through difficult situations is the epitome of self-care. This, alone, will have a huge impact on how you’re able to balance marriage and motherhood.
What should you do?
There are many pros and cons to both marriage and motherhood, and ultimately it’s completely subjective, so it’s important weigh all of your options before making a decision. Only you can know what’s right for you, but it’s important to take your time and make sure you’re making the best decision for your future and for yourself.
Don’t be swayed by what you think you should do, or what is expected of you by other people in your life. For commitments as massive as these, no one can make a decision for you. Stay true to yourself and own it!